There's Probably Stalkers Overseas, Too

I'll be on holiday in Europe for the next few weeks, so there will be no updates till I get back (unless mX has greatly expanded its territory).

During that time, if you see a Here's Looking At You entry so bad it can't go unmentioned, cut it out, scan it (200 DPI or more) and send it to me; heresleering at gmail dot com. I'll do a catch-up post when I get back.

Until then, treat each other well, be kind and stop staring at that girl on the way home. It's creepy.

She'll Even Let You Go Full Fiscal

Further proof that there's nothing to do in Geelong. Except accountants.

My Name Is Legion, For We Are Many

Given that you know where he lives and you admit that you're stalking him, isn't asking for his number kind of redundant at this point?

My Puns Can Totally Beat Up Your Puns

Gee, if only you had some way of serenading her.

Also, note to mX staff: lift your pun game. The following would all have been acceptable as a headline.

Busk A Move
Buska Rhymes
From Busk Till Dawn
I Like Big Busk & I Cannot Lie

And so forth.

Firth Contact

...

No. Too easy.

Would This Count As A Bail Out?

Nothing against Asian finance girls, but it seems to me that soliciting chocolates via newspaper is not the best foundation for a relationship. I mean, there's not even a promise of anything further, no hint that it might lead somewhere, they just ask for more chocolates. Anyone that responds to that would have to be pretty gullible.




Then again, there are two of them...

At Least They Weren't Stomping The Yard

How the hell do you slam dance on a train? And who calls it slam dancing anymore? I either feel too young or too old.

Also, this person wins the prize for mentioning the word "dance" as many times as possible in one paragraph.

Bacon & Eggs > Tottenham Residents

Chris is either a cannibal or a praying mantis. Either way, score.

And Get Into My Arterial Blood Clot

Seriously, what the hell, Haylee? Are you complimenting him? Romantic declarations don't usually start with "get out," unless you're Billy Ocean.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess you're not Billy Ocean.

Essendon't

Let me get this straight. Some guy asks you for your number. You want his number also. You think the best way to achieve your mutual goals would be to put an ad in the paper that he might not even see, rather than just give him your number.

All I'm saying is, there's a reason some of you people are still single.

Cue The Blue Velvet Quotes

Unsurprisingly, this entry from last week prompted a few replies.












Wow, did you not even bother listening to her? The one thing she said she doesn't do is coffee. That's like someone telling you they're allergic to peanuts, so you offer them a Snickers.













No, you moron, she doesn't want to play catch up! BABY WANTS TO FUCK!







This wins.

You Read HLAY Every Day And You Still Want To Meet One Of These People?

Just throwing this out there - maybe it's because you use the phrase, "I need me a baby daddy."

Hey, You Can't Call Yourself Commuter, That's My Thing

Right, that's exactly what public transport needs. Lonely people approaching strangers and ASKING THEM FOR SEX.

And you know what else? Coffee's not that bad.

That's The Same Atrocious Aftershave You Wore In Court

This one showed up the other day and I was going to leave it alone, but the number of replies today begs attention.











These are the boring ones (click for higher resolution). Way to sound nothing like a complete pushover, Dave.












Juice, you are one of the few people in this world who deserves true happiness.

Also, to mX staff: This is the third time in a week you've used "Man Hunt" as the heading for one of these (Fitzroy Girl, Dave and Anonymous on the 12th). Is that really all you got, or are you just keen on making Michael Mann/Brian Cox references?

Or You Could Just Talk To Her

First of all, what's wrong with Lisa? You don't like her?

Second of all, I'm assuming you work at Sensis. To all other Sensis employees, keep an eye out for someone attempting to chase people with office furniture. Then report them to HR for sexual harassment.