22 September, 2008

Cue The Blue Velvet Quotes

Unsurprisingly, this entry from last week prompted a few replies.

Wow, did you not even bother listening to her? The one thing she said she doesn't do is coffee. That's like someone telling you they're allergic to peanuts, so you offer them a Snickers.

No, you moron, she doesn't want to play catch up! BABY WANTS TO FUCK!

This wins.

19 September, 2008

18 September, 2008

Hey, You Can't Call Yourself Commuter, That's My Thing

Right, that's exactly what public transport needs. Lonely people approaching strangers and ASKING THEM FOR SEX.

And you know what else? Coffee's not that bad.

17 September, 2008

That's The Same Atrocious Aftershave You Wore In Court

This one showed up the other day and I was going to leave it alone, but the number of replies today begs attention.

These are the boring ones (click for higher resolution). Way to sound nothing like a complete pushover, Dave.

Juice, you are one of the few people in this world who deserves true happiness.

Also, to mX staff: This is the third time in a week you've used "Man Hunt" as the heading for one of these (Fitzroy Girl, Dave and Anonymous on the 12th). Is that really all you got, or are you just keen on making Michael Mann/Brian Cox references?

16 September, 2008

Or You Could Just Talk To Her

First of all, what's wrong with Lisa? You don't like her?

Second of all, I'm assuming you work at Sensis. To all other Sensis employees, keep an eye out for someone attempting to chase people with office furniture. Then report them to HR for sexual harassment.

15 September, 2008

I Thought Everyone Knew This

Second carriage from front, about halfway down. There's 22 of them, they all get on at approximately 8:15 am on weekdays and congregate around the doors. They enjoy the music of Genesis, Chicago and one of them is a big fan of Foreigner but won't admit it.

They are primarily herbivores and spook easily, but can often be found gathering near large sources of fresh water.

11 September, 2008

Attention Specimen - Coffee?

A friendly tip to all aliens attempting to propagate hybrid spawn amongst our species - we do not refer to each other colloquially as "female," or "male."

Good luck with the probes.

10 September, 2008

Commuting Is Just A Ride

I have no intention of making fun of this; just wanted to archive it because it's awesome. It would have got more points if it contained a Goatboy quote, but you can't have everything.

05 September, 2008

There's Nothing Emo About Wonderland

Emo glasses. John Mayer. Cassie, you're the lucky one for missing out on landing a douchebag boyfriend.

04 September, 2008

Real Men Do Their Own Needlework

Hey baby, how would you like to come round to my place for some indentured servitude?

02 September, 2008

If It's Good Enough For Bill Paxton, It's Good Enough For You

If nothing else, you have to love this guy's ambition. Is the reason he's lonely because he hits on groups of women simultaneously? Possibly. All I'm saying is, the Mormon church allows polygamy in some circumstances.

Live the dream, brother.

Maybe She's Just Concentrating On Avoiding You

If her eyes are closed, she's either really trying to ignore you, or she's falling asleep on her feet. So you're either creepy or boring, take your pick.