Firth Contact

...

No. Too easy.

Would This Count As A Bail Out?

Nothing against Asian finance girls, but it seems to me that soliciting chocolates via newspaper is not the best foundation for a relationship. I mean, there's not even a promise of anything further, no hint that it might lead somewhere, they just ask for more chocolates. Anyone that responds to that would have to be pretty gullible.




Then again, there are two of them...

At Least They Weren't Stomping The Yard

How the hell do you slam dance on a train? And who calls it slam dancing anymore? I either feel too young or too old.

Also, this person wins the prize for mentioning the word "dance" as many times as possible in one paragraph.

Bacon & Eggs > Tottenham Residents

Chris is either a cannibal or a praying mantis. Either way, score.

And Get Into My Arterial Blood Clot

Seriously, what the hell, Haylee? Are you complimenting him? Romantic declarations don't usually start with "get out," unless you're Billy Ocean.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess you're not Billy Ocean.

Essendon't

Let me get this straight. Some guy asks you for your number. You want his number also. You think the best way to achieve your mutual goals would be to put an ad in the paper that he might not even see, rather than just give him your number.

All I'm saying is, there's a reason some of you people are still single.

Cue The Blue Velvet Quotes

Unsurprisingly, this entry from last week prompted a few replies.












Wow, did you not even bother listening to her? The one thing she said she doesn't do is coffee. That's like someone telling you they're allergic to peanuts, so you offer them a Snickers.













No, you moron, she doesn't want to play catch up! BABY WANTS TO FUCK!







This wins.

You Read HLAY Every Day And You Still Want To Meet One Of These People?

Just throwing this out there - maybe it's because you use the phrase, "I need me a baby daddy."

Hey, You Can't Call Yourself Commuter, That's My Thing

Right, that's exactly what public transport needs. Lonely people approaching strangers and ASKING THEM FOR SEX.

And you know what else? Coffee's not that bad.

That's The Same Atrocious Aftershave You Wore In Court

This one showed up the other day and I was going to leave it alone, but the number of replies today begs attention.











These are the boring ones (click for higher resolution). Way to sound nothing like a complete pushover, Dave.












Juice, you are one of the few people in this world who deserves true happiness.

Also, to mX staff: This is the third time in a week you've used "Man Hunt" as the heading for one of these (Fitzroy Girl, Dave and Anonymous on the 12th). Is that really all you got, or are you just keen on making Michael Mann/Brian Cox references?

Or You Could Just Talk To Her

First of all, what's wrong with Lisa? You don't like her?

Second of all, I'm assuming you work at Sensis. To all other Sensis employees, keep an eye out for someone attempting to chase people with office furniture. Then report them to HR for sexual harassment.

I Thought Everyone Knew This

Second carriage from front, about halfway down. There's 22 of them, they all get on at approximately 8:15 am on weekdays and congregate around the doors. They enjoy the music of Genesis, Chicago and one of them is a big fan of Foreigner but won't admit it.

They are primarily herbivores and spook easily, but can often be found gathering near large sources of fresh water.

Start The Reactor...

You know who else has room for two under their coat? Kuato.

mX Never Prints My "Shark Hunt" Letters

Here you go.

Attention Specimen - Coffee?

A friendly tip to all aliens attempting to propagate hybrid spawn amongst our species - we do not refer to each other colloquially as "female," or "male."

Good luck with the probes.